Holidays

Your eyes light up with the excitement of the season

For those of us without peace, we have no reason

We struggle and we fight just to feel a sense of belonging

As your excitement builds for the holidays

And your children are longing

Many of us no longer want to fear this season

I try as hard as I can, as I can’t give up for one reason

I never want my husband to feel as if I don’t love him

Because I’ve lost all that I once had to celebrate ‘tis the season

I carry this pain around inside my heart

My mind wanders back to before it turned dark

I miss that life, as chaotic as it could be

I miss the people that are gone, the ones I’ll never see

I wish for a renewal of the spirit I am missing  

It's been so long; I think I’ll just go on wishing